curious musings of a curious girl living in a curious world

After a long day, my feet sore and aching, I sit on a bench, foreign tongues in the background, and I write. I write with nothing to say in particular. I write to keep my pen creatively flowing. I write because I need to, because there's a pang in my heart every time I think of writing as a profession. I write because I feel at home most when I'm with creative people with ideas about things I've thought about in private. I write because I want my life to have a purpose. I write because I want to make sense out of what's happening in this world. I write because I live and I live because I write.

 

 
Birth of Isaac, Panasonic DMC-TZ-1

Please watch the road when you drive. Particularly when you're changing lanes, it would be courteous, if anything, to look to your sides before swerving left or right. Women, please do not apply mascara while you're driving. Men, please do not put the Washington Post on your steering wheel, reading it as your drive. You only perpetuate the traffic problem in LA and elevate the already soaring levels of stress of morning commuters. Every morning, I turn on the radio to hear where there have been major accidents and which roads to avoid. Please don't become part of what I will inevitably hear on the radio tomorrow and please keep me out of that statistic as well. Thank you.

 

 


The Weepies are good times!!

I am so in love with this site! 

I felt more like myself than I had in a long time. I went out to lunch and as I was eating my HUGE burrito I saw this homeless man outside looking through the trash. His legs were so skinny, it reminded me of the movie I saw this past weekend, Into the Wild, about a young man who went to Alaska for his great adventure and ended up starving to death. I saw this man asking another who was seated at a bench waiting for the bus, for some money. He has refused. 
I've always admired this about my brother, who can approach just about anyone with something they need and not be afraid of being rejected or upsetting the person in any way. Isn't that stupid though? I'm inhibited to walk about to someone, who is probably starving, with some food because I'm afraid they'll be offended. So I decided that I would give the man my food (which was almost half that burrito that I could not finish) and if he didn't want it then i would throw it away. I walked out of the restaurant and approached the homeless man who was now sitting on a bench.

"Would you like some food?"

He looked at the paper tray with half and burrito and some tortilla chips in it and snatched it from me. Without saying anything to me nor me to him, I walked away and felt so good that I had not let my inhibitions get the better of someone who really needed food. 

And I walked  back to work with a smile on my face. Another homeless man, in very high spirits, passed me by and exclaimed, "How are you doing young lady?" I'm doing fine and I hope you are too.

Meditating at the Beach, Panasonic DMC-TZ-1

Dear Baby Brother:

I am happy you have found some peace of mind in your life. I am happy you have surrounded yourself around people who excite you, inspire you, and motivate you to keep exploring all the possibilities that are out there. I am proud of your deep respect, empathy, and compassion for people. I am proud of your charm and charisma and your willingness to help anyone in need. I love your sense of humor and your calm and rational advise. I love the fact that we can still have "bebo" days where we spend entire days at a time doing exciting things like walking around aimlessly on Vermont Ave. and finally taking refuge in that awesome little bookstore next to the theater and eating some "Juicy Lucys" at Fred 62. I am so happy for you that you've found a really good person you can really talk to and connect with, although it is weird for me to see you in love and hugging and kissing someone. So I'd just like to end with one wish: that you continue on this wonderful path you're on, to continue to surround yourself around people who love you and are truly concerned about your well-being, and to continue to live by the ocean where you have a life of physical exercise and mental peace. 

 I was listening to KCRW this morning on my drive to work and the broadcaster inspired me to make a list of pet-peeves (the first one is related to him):

1) People on the radio whose spit bubbles you can hear popping in their mouth as they announce the news.
2) Wet dishwashing gloves when you put your dry hands to do the dishes and avoid getting your hands wet
3) Men who "casually" throw their tie off the side of their shoulder when they're out to lunch.
4) The word party used as a verb.
5) Coffee-stained teeth.
6) People whose noses whistle/wheeze when they inhale.
7) Beads of sweat rolling down the sides of overweight men's faces.
8) People who ask questions when they've been answered seconds before.
9) People who have very high voices and talk really fast in the morning.
10) Old take-out food boxes in the sink.
11) Stepping on a wet bath mat after a shower.
12) Yellow mustaches due to smoking.

Sunset in Zanzibar, Panasonic DMC-TZ-1


The time between dusk and dawn is where creativity lies. It is where clocks don't matter and cars and idle talk don't exist. It is the space of the mind, like a bath in a petri dish where bacteria can move quickly, communicate, multiply. One idea gives birth to another and another and another, all while the vessel of your mind is seemingly at rest. Everything seems to make sense in a senseless sort of way. 2 and 2 is 5 and that's just fine, you have your reasoning. Imagination is the reality. The sky is green and tress are blue. Your body is your mind, formless, without matter, with no solidity. You make one revelation after another, until you're on the verge of figuring out the world. Then, at that moment, your body awakes, your eyes open, your mind takes the back seat, and everything dissipates. You try so hard to hold on to the remnants of the time between dusk and dawn where everything made sense, but it slips away as you desperately try to write down what your moments of lucidity allow. And even then, you look down at the piece of paper and wonder how 2 and 2 made 5.



Purple haze, Panasonic DMC-TZ-1